on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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