Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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