shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
