speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
