Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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