By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
