Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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