I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
