That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
