just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
why is half of my head shaved?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
