I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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