Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
