You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
