and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
