sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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