No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
