I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
