and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
