that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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