My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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