I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
COCAINE IS GR8
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
