Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
