Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
