we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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