it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
