Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
