Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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