Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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