my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
