All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
