i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
