When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
