did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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