right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
