Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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