i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
