take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
