So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
