She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
