The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
