White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
