They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
