we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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