I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
