Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
