where does the pee come out of this thing
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
