We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
