Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
