OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
