Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
