Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
